Used To be
by Yileen
Summary: One day Megumi comes face to face with a girl who used to bully her.
1. Megumi

This is very short and probably not that great. But there aren't very many Sukitte Ii Na Yo fic's and I really wish there were. And someone might actually like it.

This is kind of inspired by the episode of the anime where Megumi is outside of the convent store and Kai shows up.

This was meant to be a friendship fic but it can be read as a romantic one, depending on whatever you decide.

The whole plot of Sukitte Ii Na Yo hits hard with me, especially Mei. If anyone wants to hear more about it go to the bottom and there is more info. If not, no big deal. Feel free to read on.

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_1_2_3_4_5_6_7_8_9_10_

**Used To Be**

"_Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."~ Martin Luther King, Jr._

* * *

"Kitagawa Megumi?"

To be honest Megumi wasn't really in the mood to deal with people. The only person she wanted to have contact with was the guy behind the counter of the store. And the only reason why he was special was because she had to deal with someone when she purchased her items at checkout. The voice that said her name was soft and high. It was most likely just a fan girl, the same kind of fan girl that she saw everyday at school. Putting on a sweet smile Megumi turned around to greet whoever was there.

"Yes?"

Megumi was right. Standing there was a young girl, probably the same grade as herself, a shopping basket held in front of her with both hands. Over all the girl was a bit plain looking. Her clothing was old and obviously worn out. Her hair was a bit messy and she wasn't wearing any make up. Almost all girls their age wore make up when they were out, she though.

"….I'm sorry to bother….you…."

The girl didn't make eye contact. Instead she looked down and shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Her mouth would open and close, making her look like a fish out of water. Megumi didn't know what could be so hard for the girl to say to her. Maybe the girl was just really shy, so Megumi just waited-a smile on her face. You wouldn't be able to tell how annoyed the model really was.

"My name is Miyu….Ito Miyu…."

"It's nice to meet you, Miyu-Chan."

Megumi smiled as wide as she could and took one hand away from her own shopping basket to hold out to the girl. Miya finally looked up and away from the floor and was now staring at the out stretched hand in front of her. Megumi took the look on the other's face as confusion and shock, and was starting to feel a little awkward holding her hand out and Miyu not taking it. The last thing Megumi wanted to deal with was a mentally unstable fan.

"….We went to elementary school together. You don't remember….me?"

Megumi's smile turned to a frown and she brought her hand back to hold the basket with both hands. Megumi wasn't sure what to say. The only person she kept in touch with from back then was Momo. She hadn't stayed in contact with anyone from her Middle School, either.

"….I bullied you. I was one of the girls who bullied you."

"A lot of girls bullied me."

Taking a deep breath in Megumi held it and looked down at the girl in front of her. She squinted her eyes and looked at Miyu's face, trying her best to remember it. After a few seconds Megumi gave up; she couldn't place the name or the face of the girl. And she really didn't care. Letting out the air in her lungs she shrugged and turned away.

"No, please! Don't leave yet!"

Megumi sighed and turned around again. She didn't want to deal with people at all today. And she really didn't want to deal with a crazy fan, either. But the kind of person she absolutely didn't want to deal with at all was someone from her past that had hurt her.

"Why not? What do you want?"

"I want to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry for bulling you! Please, forgive me!"

Seeing the tears in Miyu's eyes didn't make Megumi think twice about what she was going to say. Tears didn't matter, just like it didn't matter how sorry the girl was. It all didn't matter in the end. What was done back then can't be changed or forgotten now. It might be forgivable, but again, it didn't really matter. Did it?

"I don't care."

After those three words Megumi turned around again, this time walking away. She gets to the back of the store and turns, walking back up the next isle to the cashier behind the counter. Through the corner of her eye Megumi can see the other girl in the same place as when she walked away. After paying for her items she turned and walked towards the automatic sliding glass doors, walking pass a familiar school mate with shaved sides of his hair.

Once she is outside she is stopped by the boy, his hand locked on her elbow. She turns to see him, one eyebrow raised and what she thinks might be concern. Megumi yanks her arm away but before she can make a run for it Miyu has ran out of the small store. She's began to cry and does her best to wipe them away.

"The last year of Elementary School my Father left me and my Mother for another woman. During my second year of Middle School my Mother got sick and wasn't been able to work full time. I've been out of school ever since and been working full time and there still isn't enough money!"

"That has nothing to do with me."

"….Sometimes I feel so scared about it all. I feel so bad about everything that I cry, thinking that I'll feel better afterwards. I cry about how ugly my body, hair, and face is. How pathetic my life is. About how I treated you and how awful I was. I cry and cry about everything but I don't feel any better!"

By now Megumi is silent and Kai's face is priceless. Miyu has stopped wiping at her teary eyes. Megumi's elbow drops and falls to her side when Kai lets go, now looking back and forth between the two girls. His face even more confused and, Megumi guesses, concerned. Megumi can only hear her heart beat race and Miyu cry.

"Because nothing has changed."

All she can hear now is her own voice. She isn't sure if she is really speaking the words out loud or if she is just concentrating hard on her thoughts.

"You aren't happy with yourself. Your still the same person as you were when you started to cry….the you who wasn't happy with yourself.…I don't care about what happened in the past. Nothing will ever change if you hold onto such things like that. I know….I used to be like that. But I've gotten over it, so should you. It's not worth holding onto."

"….I….I'm-"

"It must have been a hard thing to do….apologizing face to face. I think it must be have been. And, not that it should matter, I forgive you."

Realizing that she had been speaking out loud Megumi decides she is done. There is nothing left to say. She thinks Miyu must feel the same way, she bows deep and walks away in the opposite direction. But only one annoyance is gone and now the other has attached himself to her again. Too tired to care about what kind of a face she is making she turns around and looks at Kai. She is clearly annoyed by him and he picks up on it.

"What are you looking at?"

"I'm not really sure."

Not happy with his answer at all Megumi finds enough strenght to yank her arm away again than turns to leave. She only gets a few feet away before she hears him walking. It's only a few seconds later before he is walking next to her.

"'Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them.'" He smiles from next to her.

"Get that from a Bruce Lee movie, did ya?" She says and rolls her eyes, not even looking at him.

He only laughs. Megumi takes this as a yes to her question. His laugh stops and so does he. She isn't sure why but she turns around. Kai has a smile on his face and a hand in the air. She tells herself that she doesn't care and turns and starts to walk away. All she wants to do is go home and eat junk food and watch the sky change colors as the sun goes down.

"It was cool!" he shouts out to her. "What you did was really cool!"

Megumi doesn't stop to turn around or to wave good bye, she doesn't even consider glancing back to see if he is still waving at her. She only guesses that he went on his way. She has no proof that the smile on her face is from what he said.

But she doesn't stop smiling the rest of the walk home.

_1_2_3_4_5_6_7_8_9_10_

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This is also a bit inspired by what I would like to say to the girl I bullied.

When I was in Elementary School there was this girl that everyone teased. I teased her to fit in with the other girls-so I wouldn't be picked on. But I mean, the entire fucking school targeted her. It wasn't just people in our grade, the younger and older kids did it, too. We all picked on her and we had no reason to, we just picked someone and she was that person. But she kept coming to school, and she kept coming, ignoring everything. Eventually though it got to the point where she didn't want to and she started coming less and less.

We called her names, we didn't look at her in the face, we made up mean rumors about her; we treated her like she had no right to be alive. At the time I didn't think about how big of a deal it was, I didn't understand how cruel I was being. I know it's not a good excuse, but I was in 3ed grade. I just didn't get how bad it was. And now that I think about it I wish I could have been as strong as her. She was probably a really good person. If I would have not been such a follower, been too worried about what everyone else though-I bet she would have been my friend. She was a really nice person, I remember one time she bought me like a cake or a cookie or something like that on my birthday. And one time it was raining and she actually gave me her umbrella (we both walked home, my house was further away). And I still was a bitch to her.

Before the school year was over she tried to kill herself. She had taken pills and actually died for a few minutes. I only saw her one more time. She was in a car and her Older Brother came to get her stuff from school-what wasn't stolen anyways. I think her Parents were still immature, they partied a lot and didn't care. I think her Brother did though. But I've always felt so bad. And I should. I hope I feel bad about it for the rest of my life. I mean I was part of the reason why someone in the 3ed fucking grade tried to kill their self. I wish I could find her and tell her I'm so sorry for what I did. And I wish she wouldn't forgive me.

But I think she would, because that's the kind of person she was like. Unless she's changed of course. After that I started to get bullied. So I laugh and think it's okay, what goes around comes around; karma stuff. If I could talk to the girl I bullied I would tell her thank you. She taught me something about how life works and how people are. I would also like to tell her that she is an amazing person. But mostly I would like to say I'm sorry.


	2. Mei

So, I'm sorry if this is a bit OOC for Mei. I'm writing from, it might sound corny, my heart. Also, I forget what grade Mei was in when she got blamed for killing the rabbit and what Mei's Mom's name is. And I just picked a popular Japanese female name.

-0-

"_Even if I say 'I'm Sorry', does it really mean I'll be forgiven? If 'I'm Sorry' is really that powerful then why do we still have Nuclear Warfare?_

Even now she still gets bullied. Indirectly when she is out with Yamato, when she hears other girls whisper about her not being good enough for him. More direct when she is pushed and shoved by jealous others. And she admits that she even bullies herself, a bit. When she thinks back and considers that maybe there is some truth in their comments. Or when she thinks all on her own that she isn't good enough.

But out of all the bullies she faces, none have been as bad as _her_. Abe Ume. In a way she was the one who started it all. She was the one who said her Mei's name, blaming the rabbit's death on her. The one who started her thinking that everyone was the same as her.

Mei and Ume shared the same class together throughout the rest of Grade School. Once Middle School started the two went to different schools, Ume changed cities all together. And Mei stopped thinking about her for the most part, out of sight equals out of mind. But she popped up every now and then. Whenever Mei saw a rabbit or any kind of bunny related items. Or when she saw a group of children ganging up on a single person. Even when she saw someone that she thought could have been Ume.

This time it was when she looked though the yearbook of her Grade School. Her Mother decided it was time to do some Spring Cleaning. It didn't matter if it was in the middle of November or not. The boxes stacked and piled up inside her bedroom. No choice but to go through them. Just One box cleared and the yearbooks turn up.

Going through them Mei noticed something odd. A signature. Mei never had anyone sign her yearbook, just like she never sighed anyone else's. But there it was, a signature in sparkling pink pen, Ume's favorite color. A character scribbled and crossed out. She isn't sure but Mei thinks it is says 'gomen nasai', but she isn't sure. She isn't sure what this new feeling is, either. But Mei thinks it's something she won't be able to ignore.

"I wonder…."

Mei is right. The strange feeling doesn't go away. It stays with her throughout the night and by the time all the boxes are gone through Mei isn't sure what is even in them. So she goes through them again and the second time around she still isn't sure. But she decides to go to bed and deal with it tomorrow.

During school she can't concentrate. The feeling is even stronger. She finds herself going back in time when she sat next to Ume. Before and after. And no matter what she tells herself she can't help but do it again and again. She's on auto pilot, pushing pass everyone in the halls. She doesn't hear Asami or Aiko greet her in the morning. She doesn't see Yamato wave to her from the stairs. And she doesn't even feel Kai pat her shoulder in class.

And then she gets an idea. It's crazy and insane and stupid and half baked and it will never work. But Mei still plans to go through with it. She goes home and gets the phone book out. She searches and searches, goes through all the Abe names. Ume's father's name was Akira, Mother's name Mika. She writes down every Abe Akira. Then she writes down ever Nakashima Mika.

One by one she calls each number and has the same conversation. It all repeats and ends the same.

"Yes, hello….I was wondering if Abe Ume shared this number….Ah, okay. I'm sorry to have bothered you."

No Abe Akira has a daughter named Ume.

"Yes, hello….this might sound a bit strange but I'm looking for a girl named Abe Ume….Ah, okay then. I'm sorry to have been a bother to you."

No Abe Mika or Nakashima Mika. There is no Abe Ume in the phone books.

Mei can't help but feel a bit defeated. She sighs and falls down on her bed, her head hitting something hard. On top of her pillow was the yearbook. She sighs again and thumbs through the book, she lands on Ume's page and she always ends up back on the page with pink sparkle ink. And then she notices something else.

In the same pink ink with sparkles, in the upper corner-written so small, there is an address. She recognizes the address; it's in the country outside of Tokyo. Today is Wednesday, she will leave Friday.

Mei is still out of it, she is still on auto pilot. The last thing she remembered was waking up this morning. The next thing she knows is Kai sitting in the desk next to her. He tells her it's time for lunch, he wonders if she is going to eat today. And for whatever reason she tells him everything.

"Do you….want me to come along?"

And so it's been decided, Kai will go along with her. When Friday comes Mei apologizes to everyone. She tells them she's had a lot on her mind, but not to worry. Soon everything will be back to normal. When school lets out her and Yamato walk home together. She doesn't tell him everything. Just that when Saturday comes she will need him the most.

He has a hundred questions he wants answers to but he knows better. What's going on? How can I help? What's the whole story? Is there anything I can do? What does Kai know that I don't? Why didn't you come to me? How can I help you, Mei? She only tells him that she doesn't know what to expect, what is coming next. So Yamato does what he knows is best.

They stop when they reach the entrance to Mei's apartment building. Before she lets go of his hand he pulls her close against himself. He wraps his arms around her and kisses her head, she tightens around him, too. When they part he smiles a smile that is somewhat sad.

"You can call me and I'll be right there."

Mei only nods her head. Yamato doesn't say anything else and watches her as she walks away. Once she's inside and he can't see her anymore he sighs, he can let his face fall. He feels useless and helpless in the situation but he doesn't want to let her know that. He only leaves once he sees Kai walking into the building.

Mei doesn't know what she is going to do when she finds the address. She hasn't thought about the next step after this one. She doesn't even think about it. And the entire train ride a new thought hits her. Shouldn't she have wanted Yamato to have come with her? Why did it seem more comfortable with Kai? She doesn't get to think too much on it because it's time for them to get off.

The two ask for directions to the address. It's not too far, only seven or so blocks away. The two set off and don't say a word. They walk for a little less than twenty minutes before they reach the house. It's an older house, for sure. It has two levels and sits at the end of a long gravel trail. The grass is long and green, just a single cherry blossom tree in the front.

Kai asks if it would be better for him to wait at the cherry blossom tree. She says no and they both walk the long dirt path. When they gets to the door she wastes no time. Without having a plan she knocks on the door before she can think one up. And before she can run away the door swings open, an old frail looking woman is on the other end. Her hair so white it looks like snow.

"Can I help you?"

"….Um….I'm sorry to be a bother but I was wondering if a….girl….if a girl named Abe Ume lived here?"

Mei is a bit shocked when the old woman smiles and nods her head. She is grabbed and pulled in and told to follow. She grabs Kai's shirt, dragging him along. They ends up in a room with chairs and are told to sit, they do and the old woman goes off into another room. Only a short time later a young girl comes into the room.

The girl is pretty. She is tall and thin, wearing only a tank top and cut off shorts. Her eyes are big, widened from shock maybe. Her lips are parted, her jaw dropped. She moves her hair out of her face to get a better view, or to make sure what she's seeing is really what is in front of her.

"Abe….Ume?"

"Mei."

There is only silence. Ume hasn't moved from her spot, Mei is making eye contact with everything but Ume, and Kai isn't sure what he should do. Right now would it be best to keep quiet? Probably.

"….What are you doing here?"

"….Why I'm here…."

Ume relaxes in the blink of an eye. Letting out the air in her lungs she combs there her bangs. Mei seems just as relaxed and now Kai is on edge. Shouldn't there be more tension in a situation like this? He thinks so.

"I guess it doesn't matter. How have you been?"

Ume turns her attention to him. An eyebrow raised she asks who he is. If he is, maybe, by any chance, Mei's boyfriend.

"No! No! Kai-kun is a friend!"

"That's right! I'm just a friend!"

"You have friends now?"

Kai isn't sure what to think but can't help in thinking how blunt Ume is. Or maybe she's just rude. Mei tells her she has many friends, now.

"That's good. I'm surprised."

It goes back to being quiet and both girls seem to be fine with it. He calms down a bit when he sees how calm Mei looks. In fact, even Ume looks calm. The two make small talk that never last more than one reply before Mei asks how the other is doing. She laughs.

She tells Mei that when they were in second grade her Grandfather got sick. When she entered 5th grade her Grandfather was on his deathbed. When it came time for her to start Middle School her Grandfather died and her and her Parents were moving to take care of her Grandparents. Only a year after her Parents left for America, leaving her to take care of her Grandmother.

"You signed my yearbook. Why….did you?"

"I don't remember the exact reason why now. I wanted to say sorry, I know I did something terrible to you. I couldn't face you back then so I wrote it, thinking that was good enough."

"Ah….I see…."

"You know….lately….lately I've been catching myself glaring at people. Not just anyone, but people who are happy. Like when me and Obasan go to the supermarket, and I see people who are laughing and smiling-when I see my reflection; I'm scowling. When I go out alone and see a couple….I just want to punch them in the face."

Ume blinks her eyes as quick as she can and looks away from the other two. She swallows the lump in her throat and laughs nervously.

"When I catch myself doing it I look away and scold myself. But I always do it again. I'm hating happy people, people who look happier than me. And I don't know what to do about it, but when it comes down to it I don't think there is anything to be done. And when I think about it, I feel so bad. I want you to leave now. Please leave and don't come back. I don't want to see you."

Ume is almost crying, the rims of her eyes are about to overflow. She looks away as Kai and Mei raise up from their seats. Kai leads the way and is half way to the door before he realizes Mei isn't behind him. Instead she is back with Ume. Kai decides it's best to wait outside.

Outside is the woman. She turns her head and smiles at him, thanking him for coming to visit her Granddaughter. She explains that Ume doesn't have much friends, none to her knowledge, but that it is nice for her to interact with people her own age. Always hanging around old people will make her age too quick.

Kai is thankful that Mei comes out quickly. Without saying anything they head back to the train station. When they are almost home Kai finally speaks up.

"What did Ume say?"

"….That she was sorry."

-0-

After I wrote and posted the first chapter I started to think more about the girl I bullied. I could never remember how to spell her name or what her last name was. So I didn't really get far when I started to look for her. But after I posted the first chapter I got bored and started to clean out my room. And what do I find? A class photo. I finally found her entire name and now I can look for her. But I'm not sure I'll have enough balls to actually talk to her.

On an off note; the first chapter was meant to be a oneshot. But now I really like the idea of doing a chapter for each character. Because everyone has been bullied at least once, or has been the bully. Right? And I mean the cast has been hurt, too. Asami by other girls, Aiko by her first boyfriend when she was chubby, Kai by Yamato kind of was a bully in a way, Megu and Mei. I just don't know if anyone wants to read.


	3. Aiko

I loved Aiko's character from the beginning. I admire people who can diet and exercise. I swear I can gain pounds by just dreaming about food. And I could never exercise and feel the burn. My stomach hurts just watching people jogging and doing cardio workouts.

-0-

"_That time when I walk pass a mirror and catch a glimpse of myself and I can't stand what I see."_

"It's been awhile, huh?"

How long had it been? How long has it been since she's seen him? How long has she dreamed of this moment? How many times had she thought about what she would say, replayed it over and over again in her head? How long has it been since she cried until her eyes were swollen shut? Since she didn't leave her bed for days? Since she felt so tiny and insignificant? Since she couldn't look at herself in the mirror? Since he changed her entire life? How long has it been since she wanted to just take salt and rub it in his eyes?

"How have you been?"

Aiko doesn't answer him. She doesn't even look at him. She just closes her eyes and wishes he would go away. She is having a bad hair day and Masashi is late showing up for their date. The last thing she needs today is an ex-boyfriend showing up from years ago.

"You look great."

And of course it wouldn't be any old ex-boyfriend. It would have to be the one that broke her heart. Even though it's been so long Aiko remembers it all so clear. All the painful feelings she went through outweighed the good….didn't they?

"You look really great."

Aiko still doesn't say anything and just sucks down the last bit of her drink. When her drink is all gone she looks down at her watch. He still hasn't gone away and he has actually pulled out the empty chair and is sitting down next to her. Aiko takes a deep breath in and can smell his cologne. It's the same as she remembers it.

"What are you up to these days?"

Aiko debates whether or not to throw her cup at him and walk away. She decides she won't, she might want a refill before she leaves with Masashi. Whenever he shows up. Aiko turns so her back is to him and pulls out her cell phone and sends a text to Masashi, asking where the hell he is? She can feel the other man's breathe on her neck but she does her best to not shiver. His face is right next to hers, one hand on is running through her hair and the other is sliding up her thigh.

"Do you know how good you look? Wanna hook up?"

Aiko has had enough. She stands up and pushes him away. She yells at him and calls him every name she can think of. She is almost out of curses to shout and people are starting to stare at her when he moves to her. He puts his hands over her mouth and nose and tells her quiet down, she is acting like a fool. She struggles and tries to wiggle loose, she can't breathe. She can't take it anymore and she bites down on one of his fingers.

"You Bitch!"

He yells at her and grabs her by the shoulders, shaking her, asking what is wrong with her? His fingernails are digging into her bare shoulders but she only says to let her go. She tries to get loose again and when she can't she stomps down on his foot with her high heeled shoe. He screams out in pain and pushes her. She falls back into the table and chairs and onto the ground. He yells at her again and makes a step towards her.

She looks for her cup or bag or anything she can pick up and swing at him. But her bag is behind him and the cup is crushed under his foot. She can't help but feel a little afraid. But before he can take another step towards her he is blindsided and tackled to the ground. Aiko takes this time to get up and grab her bag, then she turns around.

She can see Masashi. He is on top of and beating the older man. She can hear someone shout out they are calling the police. She calls out his name and rushes to them. Masashi jumps up when she reaches him and they turn to walk away. Masashi asks if she is okay but she can hear the other man over him, yelling and shouting.

She looks at the blood on Masashi's fist and on his shirt. When she see's Masashi turning around, ready to go back, she stops him. She turns around and can see the other man is up and okay, just a little bloody. She grabs onto Masashi and shouts back.

"Oh, fuck off. I have high heels longer than your dick."

And with that Aiko grabs onto Masashi's arm and turns and begins to walk away. Her middle finger up, her head held high, and with a man who respects her.

I've been busy and haven't written anything for a while. And during my free time I've been watching Asian Dramas. I finished watching 'Flower Boy Next Door' in February and when March started I got the sudden feeling to re-watch 'Hana Yori Dango' series again. I don't know what it is but something about the double date zoo scene reminds me of Aiko. I don't know why. So this is inspired by that.

I can't remember Aiko's first boyfriends name, or if he even had one. I also can't remember if he was her first boyfriend or not. If there was a name and you know it please feel free to pm me or leave it in a comment and I'll edit it in. Same with if he was her first boyfriend. Thank you for reading.


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